#256 White People, Drop the Shame and Get Curious | Shelly Graf

In this episode, we go there. All the way there. All those horrifying little thoughts that white people might have — eg: Have you ever felt superior to, or suspicious of, black people? — let’s drag them out of the subconscious and look at them. We don’t need to submerge them or swat them away. But here’s the thing: can we do it with some semblance of mindfulness and even friendliness? This isn’t an exercise in ritual shaming; guilt and shame are just self-centeredness cul-de-sacs. After all, we didn’t summon these thoughts; they were injected into us by the culture. So fellow white people, instead of just looking at the race discussion as something supremely discomfiting, let’s also look at it as an opportunity to do what we’ve been attempting to do in meditation all along: to know our minds better so that we don’t blindly act out all of our conditioning. Our guest this week is the magnificent Shelly Graf. Shelly was recommended to me by my TPH colleague, Matthew Hepburn. Shelly is a social worker and a staff dharma teacher at the Common Ground Meditation Center in Minneapolis. To be clear, Shelly doesn’t pretend to be an expert who has it all figured out — simply a meditation teacher who has committed to deeply engaging on the issue of race. So in that spirit, here we go: Shelly Graf.

Where to find Shelly Graf online: 

Website: https://commongroundmeditation.org/

Social Media: 

• Twitter:  https://twitter.com/cgmed
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CommonGroundMeditation/

Check our our new, free collection of meditations called Relating to Race in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://app.tenpercent.com/link/content?topic=9b690091-ad96-4557-8dbf-23d23b13d979 

Other Resources Mentioned:

• Refuge (Buddhism) 
• Karma in Buddhism
• Maitrī 
• Ruth King 
• Episode 164: Ruth King, Being Mindful of Race 
• Three Marks of Existence: Anicca, Dukkha, Anatta 
• Māna 
• Common Ground Meditation Center 
• The Characteristics of White Supremacy Culture 
• Detour-Spotting for White Anti-Racists 
• List of resources from Resmaa Menakem 
• Racial Affinity Group Development Program

Additional Resources:

• Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live
• Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide
• Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care