Shelter from the Storm

Often at Ten Percent, we talk about the benefits of meditation: relief from anxiety, less reactivity when difficult things happen, greater resilience, more openness to love and relationship.

For me, though, meditation isn’t just about measurable, objective benefits. It’s about “shelter from the storm,” to quote Bob Dylan, a space of solace and stability in an unstable world.

This is not necessarily quantifiable, or even rational. In my case, it comes from twenty years of Buddhist practice, where the notion of “refuge” is central. Traditionally, Buddhist practitioners take “refuge” in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha – the teacher, the teaching, and the community of practitioners.

Now, as longtime Ten Percent folks know, we’re not a Buddhist app. But we are Buddhist-adjacent. It’s no secret that most of our teachers teach in Buddhist settings of various types, and that our core meditation practices are derived from Buddhist ones, albeit secularized and adapted for a contemporary, Western context. In that process, some teachings are preserved, others are set aside, and all are transformed in the translation.

The notion of refuge, I think, is one worth keeping. So, here’s how the three traditional ‘refuges’ might look in a secular context, and why they might be of value to you.

First, while you may or may not find refuge in the historical Buddha, it can be really helpful to have that sense of connection with the teachers who resonate the most with you. You might draw comfort from Sharon’s kindness, or Sebene’s down-to-earth-ness, or Jeff’s sarcasm. Sure, on one level, they are teachers on an app. But they are also living, breathing human beings who are doing their best to live the wisdom that they teach, and who have dedicated their lives to reducing the amount of suffering in the world.

I find that can be of enormous comfort. Sometimes, in a challenging conversation, I literally ask myself What Oren Sofer Would Say. If I’m caught in self-judgment and self-criticism, I imagine Joseph’s voice reminding me to go easy on myself. Yes, the objective content of what these teachers teach is important. But right alongside that go their living examples of what it means to try to be a little wiser, happier, and more compassionate. That can be a real refuge when times are tough.

The same is true for the teachings themselves. Yes, as we note all the time, secular mindfulness has been proven effective in countless scientific studies. But for me personally, the contemplative life is more than that. There have been times when I’ve sat down to meditate and felt the practice of it to be a refuge: a moment of quiet, balance, or equanimity.

Or, when the mind is choppy, refuge from the mind itself. I may not even remember, in those moments, what the point of all this even is. But there’s a sense of “well, let’s just do this thing and see what happens.” At such times, sitting down for meditation – or taking a relaxing breath, or noticing what’s around me in a given moment – can feel like coming home. It’s a grounding, a reminder of another way of being that’s different from the anxiety or anger or fear in which I find myself. Okay, I surrender. I seek refuge. And here’s another moment.

Finally, there’s the aspect of community. In Buddhist contexts, the sangha, or community, is often front and center. When you’re in a room (real or virtual) with fellow practitioners, you can feel the mutual support. You can compare notes, share this weird little hobby, and keep each other accountable. It’s sometimes said that having “dharma friends” is, even more than meditation, the most important aspect of the contemplative life.

Admittedly, that can be a little harder when you’re on your sofa wearing headphones. But I wish you could see the feedback that we receive literally every day from people who have had their lives changed by the Ten Percent app and podcasts. It’s a wonderful community that’s developing here, even if we don’t yet know it.

So, while we are developing tools to help you connect with other Ten Percenters, in the meantime, I invite you to imagine them. It can be helpful to know that when you’re sitting on your sofa, tens (now hundreds) of thousands of people are sitting with you on theirs. And beyond Ten Percent Happier, millions of people are meditating, or starting to meditate, or even just intending to meditate. You are not alone!

More broadly, while our news cycles are dominated by bad news, and the people causing bad news to happen, it can be profoundly restorative to remember that millions of people are trying do better, whether through meditation specifically or any number of other ways. Many of them are struggling too. Many are sure they can’t meditate because their minds won’t quiet down. Many are experiencing greater spaciousness, more happiness, more openness to others. Many are just getting by.

This is the refuge of community – if not in the immediate, personal sense, then in the knowing that you are not alone.

Meditation does have a lot of benefits. I’ve experienced them, and hopefully you have too. But beyond costs and benefits, it can also become a supportive part of your life. Consider, next time you meditate, the teachers, teachings, and community which might provide refuge for you. Consider how they can provide shelter from the storm.